


South Park Crack & head cannons

by Diamondchibi



Category: South Park
Genre: Crack, F/F, F/M, Gay, M/M, Multi, Randomness, Silly, gender fluid Wendy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:29:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 2,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27964592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diamondchibi/pseuds/Diamondchibi
Summary: This is a crack fic with some random head cannons and stuff that will probably never happen in South ParkI do not own South Park this is just my interpretation.This is head cannons of what they will be in high school and some little skits.This might just have some random stuff.This crack fic was moved over from wattpad, and I will transfer chapters  when 4 more chapters are uploaded on wattpad .
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak
Kudos: 8





	1. Warning

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you like this chapeter

Warning: please know that these are head cannons, this book will also have scenarios/skits with characters head cannons (there will also be some memes and incorrect quotes)  
CHC = character head cannons  
Random = incorrect quotes, text adventures, memes , crack and pictures.  
Ships love child = a chapter on how I think a couples child will be.  
Book idea = this will be a chapter that has an idea for a South Park related book.   
(Any one can use them just please put a link in the comments, name or Arthur of the book/fanfic).  
Book update = update for the progress of this crack fic .  
This fic is on wattpad under the same name as this


	2. School desc

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The school there going to.

In this chapter we will be talking about the clubs, groups etc.  
The school they go includes all the parks ( north, south,east west). The school also includes dorms for people who live far away, exchange students and can be used for kids who want to be prepared for living on there own or for students or just want some privacy from their parents.  
The school is a middle school and high school combined .

Groups/ cliques  
(people can be in multiple groups)

The 3 smartest and athletic kids are Wendy/Wendell, Kyle and Craig   
(even though they don't play sports)

The drama club is run by tweek and the members are Kenny, Bebe, butters and Annie (knits).

The 'sporty' kids are Stan, Clyde, token and red.

Those 4 kids (that's there group name for now) are Ike, Karen, Tricia (or ruby) and frikle. 

Stans gang: Stan, Kyle , Kenny , cartman and butters.

Craig and those guys : Craig , token , Clyde , jimmy , sometimes tweek.  
( tweek not a cannon member but he does hang out with them , source: the South Park wiki)

Wendy/Wendell/wendelie group is Wendy/Wendell/wendelie, Bebe, red and Nichole.  
(Next chapter I will explain why it's Wendy/Wendell)

The hell kids : Damien, pip, Jason, Kenny  
(Basically all the kids who are dead and/or demons)

The blondes; tweek , butters, Annie , Bebe , Kenny , Thomas. Pip

The goths , Michael, frills , Pete and Henrietta . 

(I'm sorry there's not a lot of groups)


	3. Wendy/wendell/wendelie ( CHC 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is about wendy

-Wendy/Wendell/wendelie gets good grades , but they doesn't really study and skips most of their classes.

-They're one of the 3 most smartest and athletic kids in school ( Craig and Kyle)

-Wendy/Wendell/wendelie is better than the group in history even though they sleep through it most of the time.

-They like to annoy Craig with Kyle, let's be clear that they're not the mom of the group.

-5,8

-Wendy/Wendell/wendelie a closeted gamer and meme lord. (They likes trolling people)

\- there favorite game is under-tale and got Craig and Kyle to play it.

-Their favorite color is purple.

-In the second semester of freshman year they got a dorm.

\- Pansexual

\- they are gender fluid (Wendy- fem , Wendell - male, wendelie - non binary )  
(I'm using they/them pronouns because this is a bio and I fell bad saying she/he,  
Bc gender fluid means sometimes they feel like a girl other times they feel like a boy and  
sometimes they don't feel like either and I don't know how they feel right now).


	4. Kyle (CHC 2 )

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is about kyle

Kyle is a closeted meme lord, gamer and weeb.  
Due to working out when he was younger (working out as a child may cause muscle degeneration )  
Kyle is short, he's 5,4  
During April fools he fell asleep in class, and Bebe straightened his hair as a prank.  
Kyle is bi  
Kyle is better than Wendy/Wendell and Craig in literature, art and music.  
Kyle does skip class (sometimes not all)  
Kyles favorite game is legend of Zelda twilight princess.  
Don't underestimate him by his height , he will fight you and probably win.  
Positive And lil bit sassy, but kind to people he cares about.  
Kyle got a dorm for school because of his strict mom, he wanted to have a laidback school life.  
-Tsundere LV : 50 ( to everyone one he cares about)  
\- yandere LV : 5 ( to people he loves)


	5. Craig ( CHC 3 )

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a chapter on craig

(Warning: In the cannon South Park Craig is shown to have longer legs and skinner then the other children, his parents are shown to be the tallest in South Park)  
-Craig is 6,2  
-Craig is the 3rd member of the TMAS kids (the most athletic and smart kids).  
-Craig is better in science and chemistry then Kyle and Wendy.  
\- Craig usually skips art to study for upcoming tests or to sleep  
\- Craig is the mom friend for TMAS and prevents Wendy from doing something stupid.  
\- Craig has a dorm  
-Craig sufferers from insomnia at night so he's really sleepy in the afternoon.  
\- Craig is a gamer ands usually speed runs Minecraft in his free time.  
\- actually enjoys cooking and baking and is really good at it.  
-Craig is a workaholic.  
-Tsundere LV 5   
\- kuudere LV 75


	6. Bebe ( CHC 4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter about bebe

\- straight (gay) up weeb  
\- brotp with tweek   
\- no Hetro energy 100%  
\- she's 5,7  
\- she's sweet to the people she's friends with and sassy to other people.  
\- her favorite color is red  
\- 20% of her home work is missing  
\- spends most of her Time in detention vibing ( mostly with tweek and Kenny)  
\- she has a dorm with posters of her anime wifus.  
\- fear her on April fools day  
\- voices a utaliod named B1 ( beh-1)  
= pansexual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this world needs more platonic tweekxbebe brotp


	7. Kenny (CHC5)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a chapter about Kenny

\- 5,10  
\- knows anime but can't watch it with out YouTube or borrowing a friends Funimation/crunchy role account.  
\- has a part time job at city wok   
\- still perverted   
\- made a UtauLoid with Bebe and tweek for shits and giggles, k3 ( keh- three)  
\- usually bunks with Stan, Kyle and tweek in their dorms.  
\- he tries hard to study to get a nice job to support his family.  
\- pansexual


	8. Tweek (CHC6)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a chapter about tweek

\- he's 5,3 ( drinking coffee at a young age can affect your body like hight)  
\- Has a brotp with Bebe  
\- weeb and gamer  
\- his favorite game is genshin impact   
\- 'borrowed' Craig's hoodie  
\- has a dorm  
\- gremlin / troll  
\- he's energetic and mostly positive but with a side of sass  
\- can and will punch   
\- hes in charge of the theater club  
\- still drinks coffee but not as much as before  
\- made an UtauLoid called T2 (teh - too)  
\- plays the piano  
\- clumsy (not 'UwU I tripped and fell gracefully into your arms' clumsy )  
\- foodie  
\- tsundere LV: 25  
\- yandere LV : 5


	9. PIp (CHC 7)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a chapter about pip

-He's about 5,4   
\- he came back from the dead  
-Gremlin  
\- sassy  
\- drinks mostly tea  
\- he trains tweek the art of trolling people.  
\- can and will bitch slap  
\- swears a lot  
\- his clothes are allways on point  
\- kinda is a tsundere


	10. Idea for a book (1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An idea for a book

Ok Hear me out...  
South Park x camp camp   
If you don't watch/know what camp camp is, search it up, it's a great show.  
Both have a plot starring children that swear.  
Basically Craig's gang ( jimmy, tweek, Clyde , token, Craig ) and stans gang ( Stan, Kyle , Kenny , cartman, butters) get sent to camp Campbell, because [insert reason here].   
I think the camp they will be sent to will be behaveral correction camp, mostly because they don't act like  
'normal children ' ( have you seen the show, compare a real life child from school to them)


	11. Random (1-3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All of the chapters named random (1-3) from wattpad on one chapter

Kyle : can you believe there are some plants that are illegal, plants.  
Craig: can you believe that some love is illegal , love.  
Wendy/Wendell/wendelie: can you believe it's not butter , butter.

*hears explosion*  
Craig: Wendy/ Wendell/wendelie what did you do.  
Wendy/Wendell/wendelie: my best.

Craig: the can opener doesn't work.  
Tweek: so it's a can't opener  
Craig: I can't believe I married you

Kyle: I consider my self a pacifist, but I once killed some one with a butter knife,   
if you call me shortie one more time Wendy/Wendell/wendelie , your going to have more then a broken arm.  
(Same thing but different)  
Craig: I consider my self a pacifist Jason, but I once killed 5 guys with a bar of soap,  
If you Break another wall , your going to die again.

Some random girl: why guys take so long to mature y'all retarded or something  
Craig: why do girls take so long to get ready, you guys ugly or something.

Craig: thots actually say my boys are ugly, one wet wipe to the face, and you guys go from a 9 to a 3.

Tweek: if you knew me before my teens, you didn't actually know me.   
You knew season 1 me. We were severely underfunded and the writing team was going through a lot.

Kenny: if I have an medical emergency, don't you dare call an ambulance. Y'all better Uber my ass to the hospital, we're not going to pay 5,000 for a ride in the wee woo wagon.

Tweek: my mom just informed me that my first word was 'quote',   
I'm going to make sure my last word is going to be un quote.  
Jimmy: you have been blessed with a rare and epic opportunity.

Craig: *exists*  
Some random girl: I want to tap that  
Tweek: I called dips on that 5 years ago, back off

Pc principal: I want you to be totally straight with me.  
Wendy/Wendell/wendelie, Kyle & Craig: *gay silence*

Bebe: I have the most simps   
Annie: no I do  
???: pathetic   
Bebe: what was that jerk  
Craig: pathetic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was chapters random (1-3) from wattpad trasfer to ao3.  
> please comment on what i should do, to make this better.


	12. random (4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TMAS as mully from Youtube

(Warning this is based off a video called 'he is a special boy by mully, )  
(Wendy will use female pronouns and be called Wendy )  
TMAS as mully

Craig : Guys where the hell is juicy (I couldn't make up a name )  
Wendy : Kyle!  
Craig : I don't see him anywhere, it was your responsibility to keep him tied to the tree.  
Wendy: what did you do to him  
Kyle: he said, he wanted to go to the bathroom, so I took is leash off.  
Wendy: OH MY GOD, DiD YOU NOT REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME.  
Wendy: I'm still financially trying to recover from that.  
Kyle : well let's go look for him, he's probably at his fort.

(Time skip)

Craig: juicy were are you?  
Wendy : juicy fruit snacks? Where are you , we're going to take you home.  
Juicy : (grunting noises)  
Kyle: there he is  
Juicy : Craig I'm sorry I ate the little mushroom you told me not to eat . I'm sorry, I can taste the way your looking at me and I don't like it.  
Craig: I'm not really happy with you, you ran away when it was toilet time , we told you about this , you took off your bell and you eaten the no no shroom.  
Juicy : I think I ate my bell too , every time my stomach growls you can here a little jingle.  
(Juicy starts doing a little dance)  
Juicy: hear that  
Wendy : yeah we can  
Kyle: we're going to have to look through juicy poo again, just like he ate the car keys.  
Juicy: look I can do a little song  
Juicy: jingle bells Kyle smells, Wendy laid an egg  
Craig: that pretty good ,can't wait to get copyright striked  
Craig: yeah, anyway , shit that bell out straight away  
Juicy: right here?  
Wendy: and yeah leave your pants too, on you gotta suffer, take a shit in your pants  
Juicy: i don't know guys, it's been a while since you guys last made me shit in front of you I'm kinda nervous.  
Craig: what the fuck.  
Kyle: there was this time we're juicy ate the car keys, and every time we had to open the car, I had to come up to him and knee him in the stomach. It took a couple tries but the car actually opened.  
Wendy: I'm still missing my wallet I have to put him on the counter every time I'm trying to pay for something.  
Juicy: I'm hungry!  
Craig: shit it out right now  
Juicy: ok, don't look though.  
Craig: no we're looking, I also want you to shit out 2 dollars and 30 cents  
I gave tweek for lolis last week I know you took it.  
Juicy: yeah I took it.....  
Juicy: we here goes nothing  
(Juicy makes some more grunting noise)  
Juicy: ( poops a grenade)  
Kyle: ah fuck run!  
(The grenade explodes)  
Kyle: OH mY God  
Wendy: juicy! we forgot that he ate that live grenade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please support the original youtuber that posted this, his channel is called mully


	13. Random (5-6)

( I will use www for addressing Wendy/Wendell/Wendelie )

Craig: got called a homosexual in Walmart today lads.  
WWW: Tell us what happened lad.  
Craig: I got called a homosexual in Walmart.  
WWW : ye , but why?  
Craig : I was being a homosexual.  
WWW : *shocked* in Walmart?  
Craig : yeah in Walmart

WWW: *sees a cute girl *  
Craig : go talk to her.  
Www: your advice is useless!!!

Tweek : do you ever think about how useless babies are?  
Bebe: *snickers*  
Tweek: like get a job , you fucking prick .

*at a hang out *  
Stan : so what do we do with no girls here.  
Cartman : alright, tweek I want you to suck Craig off real quick, I wanna see it.

Cartman : truth  
Kyle : how many relationships have you orchestrated?  
Cartman : dare  
Kyle: I dare you to tell me how many relationships you orchestrated.  
Cartman : I don't like this game.

What are Craig and WWW views on Minecraft beds?  
Craig : I actually agree with www with this.  
Www: IF THE BED AINT RED, PUT A BULLET THROUGH THEIR HEAD!


End file.
